Saturday, June 10, 2006

Women Loving Women

Please, please, please. I know what you're thinking. And this entry is not about lesbianism. I promise I'll write an entry about lesbians later, God love 'em. Okay, not really. (I'm writing this entry (finally) in honor of the great mommy hug-in or whateverthefuck it's called.)

I've been thinking about womanly love a lot lately. You know the term "bosom buddies"? Why don't people use that term anymore? Oh, because bosom buddies don't exist. Not in real life. The idea of having a BFF whom you can talk to, visit, drink coffee with, hold, and touch is alive and well in every woman's heart, but we don't put that idea to practice anymore.

Remember high school, when you had this really great girlfriend whom you hugged every day as you went home from school? Remember when, if she were having a rough time and crying her eyes out, you'd buy her her favorite sugary soda, give her a tissue and sit patiently with her while she badmouthed the asshole that broke her heart? And do you remember holding hands with her and calling her "gorgeous" or "sexy" (pre-Paris Hilton) as you walked through the mall?

Why don't we do that anymore? Why aren't women touching each other anymore? It's cool for guys to punch each other, smack one another's ass and say, "great job, fucker!" but do women hold hands anymore, or even hug unless it's a special occassion or a death in the family?

Okay, I admit, I hug my friends (though not enough). I hug Sharon when I see her at her store and we haven't talked in like, forever. I hug her when I come to her house. But Sharon is a hugger by nature (this is a good thing, Sharon!)

In general I think women don't touch each other after the age of 18 (unless drunk in college and having a late night "study" session in a dimly lit dorm room) because they grow deadly, eye-scratching claws. Women are so quick to separate themselves from one another. We judge one another before we give the other a chance to prove herself to be a loving, caring individual underneath her mom jeans and Polo top.

I often have moments of connection with moms, usually at the mall or grocery store. You know the moments I'm talking about. I'll be pushing Baby E around in her stroller, looking for the Heinz Malt Vinegar (because I can never find the damn Heinz Malt Vinegar) and another mommy walks by, draggin 3 kidlets around. She gives me a look like, "you'll do this someday" and I give her a look that says, "tell me about it" and what that other mother doesn't know is that I really want her to tell me about it. Talk to me. Be my friend. Come over for coffee or something, why the hell not?

Oh right, the claws.

Rather than list a shitload of links and mommy blogs that I love reading I am going to cop out and simply direct you to the sidebar of this blog. Pick a blog, any blog. They are all fine specimen of what a blog really should be!

I am, however, going to gush about one mommy blog in particular. She's a fairly new blogger and a close personal friend of mine. A bosom buddy, if you will!...

Sharon, AKA "
it's okay, sweetie" is my friend IRL (in real life). We met when I started working at the store she worked at. She's older than me, as everyone I know seems to be, but that didn't stop us from becoming friends fast. She was so real, and we related with each other so well. I think part of that came from the fact that we had experienced such different things in our lives. Sharon did everything I've dreamed of doing with my life, and is living her life how I one day hope to live mine. She's a wonderful shoulder to lean on and fun to cut up with. Surprisingly enough, we remained friends after I quit my job upon becoming pregnant. We both are still amazed and pleased at that fact. If you haven't read Sharon's blog yet. DO IT NOW. And tell her Nichole sent you. You won't get a free gift or anything, it'll just be funny for her to read in her comments, "Nichole sent me"!

Finally, in honor of not having claws I would like to give a virtual hug to all you ladies out there, moms and aunts, cousins, sisters, mothers, daughters, lesbians too. Have a hug on me!


Her Bad Mother said...

Love this. So glad that you wrote it! And am going to check out Sharon's blog immediately (well, after I pry WonderBaby - also a keen stander - off of my leg.)

I'll have coffee with you anytime. No claws.

It's okay, Sweetie said...

Nichole. I'm so touched. I'm typing this with tears in my eyes. We tend to seek out people with similar qualities for our most initmate relationships. We bonded because we're a reflection of each other. I'm glad to see you've branched out to share your amazing spirit with the Mommy community. See you tomorrow.

Gina said...

I love that you typed these feelings out. I think a lot of us feel this way. I used to be the huggiest person and then as I moved to college and it just wasn't as well recieved as it once was... people don't reach out like they used to.

Not too long ago I had to have my car towed... the guy saved the day and helped me out of quite a pickle... just an employee doing his job... but I wrote him the check and said, "You saved the day, I HAVE to give you a hug! Thank you so much!"

Thanks for the hug, Soleclaw! I needed that!

Gina said...

Oh, and did you check out my 100th post on Thursday?

Nicole said...

I am by nature a huggy person. I do "get" girls/people who are not though. My best friend does NOT like to be touched or hugged alot. Everyone is just different. Yah know? Let's all be huggy together! How about that? :)

It's okay, Sweetie said...

Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime to update, babee.

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